And I was supposed to sneak out tonight with Jacob (one of my best friends, occasional booty call), and now he won’t call me back. I’m pretty pissed about that. I’ve been calling and texting him since, like, 10:30PM. So instead I’m watching pirated episodes of Metalocalypse because I always seem to miss it when it’s on.
My dad flipped out a few hours ago because I had Kris over (overall best guy friend), and we were cuddling and watching TV. Dad told me that cuddling leads to “other things,” and that if it went any farther he would go all Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men on Kris’s ass. He also said, and I quote, “If you get pregnant, there will be not shotgun wedding. Although there will be a shotgun.” And I had to try really hard to continue looking humbled and not start laughing hysterically. I mean, c’mon, that’s funny shit.
I know now how it feels to be teething. I got a baby tooth that hadn’t fallen out pulled a few days ago, and now the other tooth is coming up through the gum. And it hurts like hell. All the time. Constantly. It’s like my gum is screaming. I might just take one of the Vikadin the hospital prescribed me after I passed out and hit my head (right after the aforementioned procedure). But my mom counts those motherbitches, so I’d have to explain that to her and then she’d just tell me I could’ve taken an Advil, but c’mon, those things are just going to waste in the medicine cabinet. I wanna get stoned as fuck again. That was fun. It took me twenty very focused minutes to eat a bowl of soup. I had to stop every once in a while to collapse laughing over the table, even though I couldn’t figure out what was so funny.
Oh, and I pretty much got dumped on Friday. That sucked. Pete is such a fucking tease. He led me on all day on the previous Sunday, and then decided that it was too “awkward” and that he just wanted to be “friends.” I hate people who make things awkward that don’t have to be. I really liked him, too, and that’s hard to find. It’s just… fucky. (Yes, fucky. It’s like shitty except worse.)
So that’s my rant for tonight. I’ll see you guys again soon.
